F*ck, That's Vegan?! #3

F*ck, That's Vegan?! #3

3. "Bagel Bliss"

Certain comforts are so meaningful in our lives we find them impossible to abandon. For Action Bronson, that's the "bagel with cheese": a sesame bagel filled with Polly-O mozzarella cheese and tossed under the broiler until it's bubbly and charred. It's the type of meal you fall in love with as a kid and faithfully revisit as an adult.

Up close and personal

Bagel talk spans 8 pages, meaning bagels own the most real estate in this book so far. For comparison, the first 2 foods get 6 pages of appreciation and the next 2 take up 3 pages. Safe to say bagels have a special place in Bronson's heart.

An unbelievable amount of consideration goes into the "bagel with cheese", so we needed to be sure this FTV?! bagel with cheese was top notch. Try this recipe if you want to feel exactly like Action Bronson as a kid.

Filled to the brim with delicious but admittedly gross looking cheese! 

Cheese Ingredients:

2/3 cup cashews, boiled or soaked overnight
1/4 cup melted coconut oil
4 tbsp tapioca starch
2 tbsp nutritional yeast
1 tbsp potato starch
1 tsp white miso paste
3 tsp salt
1/2 tsp white vinegar
1/2 tsp lemon juice
1/4 tsp rice vinegar
4 cups filtered water
2/3 cup filtered water


Add all ingredients to a blender. Blend until completely liquified, then pour into a saucepan. Whisk continuously over medium heat until thickened. Transfer to container*, then refrigerate for at least 2 hours or until solid.

*glass, ceramic, or silicone is likely easiest for cheese removal

Gorgeous bagels

Bagel* Ingredients:

5 cups bread flour
1 + 3/4 cups filtered water
1/3 cup vital wheat gluten
1 tbsp diastatic malt powder
1/2 tbsp maple syrup
1 tsp dry active yeast
3 tsp salt
1/2 cup sesame seeds

Water Bath:

3 quarts water
2 Tbsp dried malt or malt syrup


In a large bowl, whisk all dry ingredients but yeast. Warm water for dough to about 110 degrees. Add maple syrup to water. Add yeast to mixture and let bloom. Add warm water to dry ingredients. Knead the dough by hand or in a stand mixer for 10 minutes. Add additional water if dough is not smooth during this process.

Let dough proof (covered with a damp cloth) for 60-90 mins. Turn dough onto an unfloured surface and pat into a rectangular shape. If the dough resists rolling let it rest for 10 more minutes.

Slice 2 inch wide logs from the dough and shape into bagels. It's a little difficult at first so watch that video(or some other one). Place each shaped bagel on a parchment lined, cornmeal dusted baking sheet and cover with plastic wrap. When you are done shaping, cover the baking sheet with plastic, and place it in the refrigerator for 24 hours.

Thimgs are shaping up around here.

On baking day, remove the bagels from the refrigerator for 30 mins before planning to bake. Preheat the oven to 450 degrees F. Bring the water to a boil, and add the malt. Drop bagels into boiling water with parchment still on them (cut around individual bagels or a few at a time). Use tongs to remove paper from water immediately after dropping in. Flip bagels half way through bathing. Remove after max. 60 seconds in the bath. Drain on a rack.
Place bagels on parchment and coat with sesame seeds. Bake for 20 minutes, flipping half way through. Let cool on a wire rack for about 30 minutes.

*If you don't feel like making your own, just go buy the best vegan-friendly sesame bagels you can find. We are NOT judging you.

Nice n' toasty

Bagel With Cheese Method

  1. Cut bagel in half.
  2. Scoop and set aside dough from inside of bagel.
  3. Slice cheese and add it to hollowed bagel.
  4. Place under the broiler until bagel and cheese are thoroughly browned.
  5. Take a bite and feel that "straight bagel bliss".

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