FTV?!

F*ck, That's Vegan?! #1

Welcome to the 1st installment of F**ck, That's Vegan?!*

This is Plant Basting's first written series dedicated to showing you that any dish can be plant based. And what better way to prove vegan food is capable of being exceptional than to cook our way through Action Bronson's book, F*ck, That's Delicious: An Annotated Guide to Eating Well.

Plant milk is awesome!

It's not a cookbook, but Bronson shares the foods he believes you should try if you want to experience "fuck, that's delicious": a feeling after eating that makes you

"just have to curse and be vulgar and violent, you know what I mean?".

It's only fair that vegans should get to feel that too, we thought.

1: "A Bowl of [Puffed Rice] Over the Sink"

Bronson explains his preferred methods for eating specific cereals, such as only using skim milk for Crispix and Rice Krispies. His depiction of the very particular way he eats Rice Krispies "almost like a risotto", made it intriguing enough to try with three different homemade milks: cashew, rice, and oat.

The Action-approved way to eat rice cereal is to not use too much milk in order to keep the crunch. After trying it out, we second that it's a pretty great technique.

Brown rice cereal, in what we assume is the ideal amount of milk.

Oat milk was the best for replicating the experience described in FTD because of its subtle flavor. While cashew milk usually is tastier, it was too creamy for this which led to soggy cereal more quickly. The brown rice milk ended up having a strong flavor and unappetizing texture.

We hope that you try making your own plant milks for cereal over the sink!

We really wanted to make vegan "Crispix" from scratch, but that will take several days. There's a chance no one ever reads this series, so we're hoping to circle back around to a feat that impressive when someone finally... cares?

Check out these milks!!

Milk Ingredients

Cashew Milk

1 cup cashews
3 cups water
1 tsp maple syrup
1/8 tsp salt

Rice Milk

1 cup cooked rice
3 cups water
1 tsp maple syrup
1/8 tsp salt

Oat Milk

1/3 cup oats
3 cups water
1 tsp maple syrup
1/8 tsp salt

Instructions

Cashew Milk

Boil cashews for 5 mins, then soak for 1 hour, or soak cashews overnight. Add all ingredients to a high speed blender, then blend for about 1 minute.
Pour through a fine mesh strainer into a container of your choice.

Rice Milk

Add all ingredients to a high speed blender, then blend for about 1 minute. Pour through a fine mesh strainer into a container of your choice. Optional: Strain again.

Oat Milk

Add all ingredients to a high speed blender, then blend for NO MORE than 30 seconds (the milk can get a slimy texture with more time). Pour through a fine mesh strainer into a container of your choice. Optional: Strain again.